Welcome to the Matrix
by Tiana Calthye
Summary: LotR, SW, Matrix crossover: The Fellowship of the Ring is placed into the Matrix when Elrond joins Agent Smith. What will happen to them in the Matrix now? An Action Drama Humor story. THIS STORY IS AU! VERY AU! Okay...?
1. Enter the Fellowship

Welcome to the Matrix

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, or the Matrix.

Prologue:

Agent Smith watched as Neo escaped his trap once again and sighed. "Mr. Anderson," he said. "Why do you try to fight the inevitable? Why?"

He glanced at his many clones that were everywhere now. Around fifty of him there were now.

"We will rule this world," he said to them. "Come on."

The clones followed him away, as he glowered at Neo; the one, and plotted his next attack. Little did he know that fate was about to bring a turn of face...

The Beginnings

Frodo slept uneasily. It seemed too easy to have gotten this far, and not have been challenged. He walked though the forests, following some distant sounds... He heard Sam arguing with Gollum in the distance... "Po_ ta_toes... you know, boil'm mash'm' stick'm in a stew," he heard Sam say, then stopped. In the distance... He heard a battle...

Sam ran up... they seen Oliphants... Green lines... another Oliphant...

"Déjà vu," said Sam.

Then everything stopped. Frodo groped for the ring, and finding it safe on his chain; relaxed. Then the world changed...

He heard a voice: The world is changed... _ i amar prestar aen_... I feel it in the water... _ han mathon ne nen_... I feel it in the earth... _ han mathon ne chae_... I smell it in the air... _ a han noston ned 'wilith_. Much that once was is lost, for none now live, who remember it.

Frodo sat up (He had blacked out) , and found himself in a strange place...

Sam waved smoke away from his face. There was smog everywhere.

"Mr. Frodo?" he cried. "Mr. Frodo?"

There was no one there. When he was able to see though the smoke, he gasped...

He was in a strange place... not Middle-earth...

Neo stood on top of a building in the Matrix. Once again he had escaped Agent Smith, but could he again? None could see the future clearly.

A bird flew by... and another, exactly the same.

Neo prepared himself for what could happen, but nothing happened. The building didn't collapse, no agents popped up from out of nowhere.

"They've changed something," he said, "somewhere."

He started to head back down, but something caught his eye...

Merry and Pippin sat around at the Entmoot, bored out of their skulls.

"I spy with my little eye something green," said Merry, yawning.

"Treebeard," said Pippin, also yawning.

Merry shook his head. "The green lines over there."

Pippin looked. Green lines were flying over the trees. "Mmm."

"You're tired."

"Yep."

"Can I go and see the green lines?"

"Whatever, Merry."

Merry walked over the green lined trees, and Pippin sat down. There was a little blue object on the ground... It looked like candy...

He picked it up, and ran it between his fingers; bored.

Merry entered the green lines--

And disappeared.

"Merry!" cried Pippin, jumping to his feet. Merry was gone.

Absentmindedly, he swallowed the blue thing--

And disappeared as well.

Green lines flew everywhere as his surrounding grew clear. He was no longer in Fangorn Forest... He was in the middle of a busy road...

Merry gasped. The green lines were everywhere. He was aware that Pippin had disappeared as well, and that he wasn't in Middle-earth.

He couldn't see, and then he could. He was on top of a large building...

He looked way, way, way, way down.

He was in a city... a large city, and there was no way down, or back to Middle-earth.

He was falling... falling... forever falling...

Gandalf fell... trying to kill the Balrog... Green lines began running over the Balrog... Another Balrog fell past...

"Déjà vu."

They were about to hit the ground... when--

Suddenly the green lines seemed to swell, and he was no longer falling.

He was no longer in Middle-earth... but in the Matrix... standing on top of a moving vehicle... Swerving down the Freeway... 

Boromir fought the orcs, ever regretting trying to take the ring from Frodo. Now he tried to protect the young Hobbits... who were no longer there.

Green lines began running over the Urak-hai... and suddenly he had a choice.

"Red or Blue, Boromir..." The Lady Galadriel's voice echoed in his head.

He fell, the moments distraction costing him his concentration. "Red or Blue?"

"Red," he gasped, fighting now for his life, leaving him with no time to wonder what had happened to the Hobbits.

The green lines seemed to swell, and then... he was gone... Middle-earth was gone too... he was in another world... the Matrix...

He seen a man dressed in black... and then he collapsed.

Gimli and Legolas fought side by side in the Battle of Helms Deep... both counting their kills.

Legolas ran out of arrows, and knelt on the ground to pick up more.

Gimli was slowly driven back to the caves... when green lines began to run over the mountain side...

As he was driven back, the green lines engulfed him, and he disappeared.

Gimli was in the Matrix... in the middle of an office building... Nothing like the battle he had just disappeared from...

Trinity waited for Neo, but he didn't come.

She was out of the Matrix now, and worried for him.

"I'm going in," she said.

Morpheus plugged her in, for there was no direct worry at the moment.

When she was in, she found herself tripping over a young man...

Trinity tumbled to the floor.

Legolas shot off more and more orcs, but he couldn't hold them off forever. "Where is Gimli?" he asked himself.

He was still wondering when the green lines engulfed him... he was no longer in the battle...

He found himself facing a man... and another... and another...

They all looked similar to Elrond, but different.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Aragorn looked at Arwen. "You cannot give me this," he said.

"It is mine to give," she answered. "Like my heart."

He took the Evenstar, and they began to kiss.

Just then, green lines began to run over the scene...

Aragorn woke up with a start, and realized that the green lines weren't a dream. He had fallen asleep on his feet again, and Arwen was shaking him awake.

The Fellowship would leave Rivendell that day.

He heard Elrond's voice, and Galadriel's...

_ "You will _never_ have my daughter..."_ echoed Elrond's voice...

"Aragorn? ARAGORN!?"

The green lines took him, and he was no longer there... He was in the Matrix... in a strange place... He drew his sword and prepared himself for the worst...

Elrond and Galadriel stood in the room where they had held the counsel. Agent Smith was there also.

"The Fellowship will no longer be in Middle-earth," said Agent Smith. "You know this."

"We cannot leave such evil as the ring possesses in this world," said Elrond, "but we have not the power to destroy it."

"It is no longer in this world, but neither is the Fellowship, or the Ringbearer," said Agent Smith. "Might I ask why you wished the others removed as well?"

"Middle-earth should belong to the elves. Men are weak, we need them not."

"Men smell," said Agent Smith, agreeing.

"These members of the Fellowship will serve as a test, to see how they survive in your Matrix. If they survive, we will put them all there, and take you, and your clones out into this world," said Elrond, firmly.

"Are you sure that this was wise?" asked Galadriel. "I am against it. The time of the elves is over. You know this, Lord Elrond, you have foreseen it."

"Well, if you wish to oppose it..."

Green lines began to cover her face. "If you change your mind?" asked Elrond.

"Never," said the Lady Galadriel. "I am against this movement."

"_ Be_ _ iest lîn_," said Elrond. (As you wish.)

The green lines overtook her, and she found herself in the Matrix. "The world is changed," she said, removing a gun from her dress. "Very changed, Elrond Peredhil. You're in for a surprise now."

To be continued 


	2. Green lines and pointy hats

Welcome to the Matrix: part two...

The lady Galadriel entered the Matrix, and conspired to stop Lord Elrond and Agent Smith's plans for world domination... She knew though, that the Fellowship was in the Matrix as well, taken from different points in their lives, the ones that stuck out the most.

Where they were, or what would happen to them, no one knew. She had not foreseen this. All she knew was that they had to be stopped. And she knew she could stop them.

Green lines Everywhere

"Akk!" Frodo jumped. A person had just tripped over him.

"Ai!" she shouted, jumping back. "Who are you?!"

She wore tight leather clothing, and her hair was shiny. Frodo stared at her. "Who are _ you_?" He looked around. All he could see was green lines. "What are the green lines?"

He grasped for the Ring, and tried to put it on, but something stopped him. _ "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. If you put on the ring, they will see you... You cannot hide forever, Ringbearer..."_

"What's with the ring?" she asked, clearly interested.

He hid it back in his hands. "If you oppose the enemy, you would do well not to hinder me," he said, holding the ring tightly. "I can say no more."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am Frodo Baggins of the Shire," he answered. "My companion--"

"What companion?"

Frodo looked around. Sam was no longer with him. "Never mind. Who are you? Where am I? Why are there green lines all over the place? What happened?"

"You see green lines?"

"Yes. They're everywhere."

Trinity looked at him closely. "I'm Trinity," she said. "Come with me."

Frodo followed her out of the building, still holding the ring.

He looked around closely. If he looked closely, he could still see the green lines, but now they made shapes. He could see where he was now, see where they were going.

Frodo paled at the sight of all the moving cars, which he had no idea of how they worked. He went even more pale when she pointed at a strange looking contraption, and said: "Hop on."

He held on for dear life as she sped down the road.

Welcome to the Matrix, Mr. Brandybuck

Merry looked down, and grew dizzy. He stepped back from the edge before he would've fallen.

He heard a footfall behind him.

"Pippin?" he asked. "Pippin, is that you?"

"Welcome to the Matrix, Mr. Brandybuck."

Merry turned around, and found himself facing a man who looked like Elrond, but wasn't Elrond. "Who are you?" he asked.

"You know who I am, Mr. Brandybuck," he answered. "Surprised to see me?"

Merry looked at him closer, and knew who he was. "Agent Smith."

"Then you do know who I am, Mr. Brandybuck. Are you surprised to see me?"

"Yes," answered Merry. "In fact, I am surprised that I even know your name, Agent Smith. You're lookin' for somethin', aren't you? You bring great evil here."

"Wrong, Mr. Brandybuck. It is you who bring evil here. Your footsteps are the footsteps of doom to us. I seek Neo. Mr. Anderson. Have you seen him, Mr. Brandybuck?" said Agent Smith, looking pointingly at Merry. "You know of whom I speak." 

Merry looked at Agent Smith, behind himself at the drop-off, and back at Agent Smith, who carried a drawn gun.

Merry jumped backwards. "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!!" he cried, as he fell off the edge... unknown to Agent Smith, however, grabbing at a window sill, and climbing _ into_ the building.

Agent Smith folded his hands. "You make this hard for me, Mr. Brandybuck."

Pointy hat

"AHHHH!!!!!" Gandalf screamed. "What new deviltry is this?!!??!"

He tried to hold onto his pointy hat while holding on for dear life at the same time, and while he was at it, get off the swerving vehicle.

"Wahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As the truck sweved around a especially sharp corner, he sweved off the edge, and found himself hanging on the side of the truck... facing two particularly wraith-like creatures.

The truck stopped as the driver realized that there was someone hanging onto the vehicle.

The driver started laughing hysterically.

"What?" Gandalf stood up, and placed his rather dented pointy hat onto his head. "Why are you laughing? I'll have you know that you nearly killed me."

The twins started laughing.

"What new demons of Sauron are these?!" he asked, as they morphed into their more human forms.

The truck driver continued laughing at Gandalf. "What do you think you are?" she asked. "A wizard?!"

"I, madam, am Gandalf the Gray," he proclaimed.

She continued laughing, not noticing the twins. "Well, _ Gandalf_ the Gray, I'll have you know that pointy hats are rather out of fashion."

"And who do you think you are, to insult my pointy hat?"

She continued laughing, until she realized that the twins were still there. She shot them, and they turned into wraiths again.

Gandalf picked up his staff, and whacked them over the head, causing their wriaths to fall though the road. But then his staff broke and he had to suffice with hitting the other one with a random medal pole that just happened to be there.

"That'll knock some sense into you," he proclaimed, as the two wraith-like twins died from concussions. "And who are you?" he asked the woman again.

She looked at Gandalf, who was brandishing the medal pole as a threat to anyone who might threaten him again. "I'm Niobe."

He looked at her. "I'm Gandalf."

"Um, you can put the medal pole down now."

Gandalf looked at the pole... the rather dented pole, and tossed it over a bridge. It fell down, and hit a Stormtrooper in the head, knocking him unconscious. "Oh well."

They looked back, and there was a big traffic jam. Ghost came running with three agents on his tail.

"Crap," said Niobe.

"Jeez, they look like Elrond," said Gandalf. 

Niobe started trying to shoot the agents.

"Crap," said Gandalf, as they dodged the bullets.

Enter the Truth

Elrond and Agent Smith stared at a computer screen that was hooked up in Rivendell. A gold-haired elf walked in, and froze.

"Glorfindel," acknowledged Elrond.

Glorfindel stopped. "What is this?"

"Why are you here?" asked Elrond, with a question all his own. Agent Smith continued working with the computer.

"Lord Elrond, your daughter has disappeared," he said.

"Shoot," said Agent Smith, cursing under his breath.

"She what?!"

"She disappeared."

Agent Smith continued working closely. "They're gone."

"Who's gone?" asked Elrond. "Besides Arwen."

"They're all gone. The entire Fellowship." Agent Smith looked almost worried. "There's nothing there but blue pills."

Elrond and Glorfindel raised their eyebrows.

Agent Smith looked at Glorfindel skeptically. "How did Arwen disapear?"

"Green lines," answered Glorfindel. "She went out to the stables, then there were green lines, and she was gone."

"What about the Fellowship?" asked Elrond. "Smith, how did they disappear?"

"They just did. Neo," he stopped. "Neo did something, I know it. I have to go back to the Matrix, and face him again."

"I told you we should've bugged them."

"If we would've, it would've been harder. No, they got in all right. It's just finding them again."

Glorfindel raised his eyebrows. "I have no idea what you are talking about," said the elf-lord. "If you don't mind, I'll just be leaving now..."

"No." Elrond grabbed him. "You know too much already."

"I don't know anything."

"You know more then you should, Glorfindel."

The elf-lord looked confused. "I don't know anything. What madness has come over you?"

"It is not madness, but wisdom." Elrond paced the room. "Look around you, Glorfindel. What do you see?" He waited not for an answer, and continued. "A fading world. The Third Age passes, now. They say the time of the elves is over; that we fade too. But if we leave then who will dwell in this world with wisdom. The dwarves? Dwarves care not for the troubles of the world; they sit in their caves hoarding treasure." He paused, and continued pacing the room. "Men? Men are weak. If men had never been made, then perhaps this world would still remain in peace. Maybe the hobbits? The little people who couldn't do anything for this world if you did it for them. Look at Frodo. He hardly had enough sense to get to Rivendell alive, and he wouldn't have if Arwen hadn't helped him.

"The days of men, dwarves, and hobbits are over. The elves are the only ones who can rule this world, Glorfindel. We must rule it.

"The world changes, as do we. The weaker races die. They would be better off elsewhere, in a world that doesn't change, That's why we have the Matrix. We will take them and place them, one by one into the Matrix, and Middle-earth will be ours."

"When did you abandon wisdom for foolishness?" asked Glorfindel, sharply. "This is not wisdom, but folly. Can you not see it?"

"I assume that means you are against it?"

"Yes."

"Good," said Agent Smith, as green lines began running over Glorfindel's face. "Enjoy life in the Matrix, Mr. Glorfindel."

"What's happening?!?!" cried Glorfindel as the Matrix took him. And then he was gone.

"Soon we will have control of this Middle-earth," said Agent Smith. "And there will be none left who can stop us!"

Elrond smirked, and folded his hands in front of himself. "No one."

To be continued... 


	3. Undead twins and cookies

** Welcome to the Matrix part three**

Neo looked down from the building. A white light caught his eye, and he went down to see what it was. He found himself face-to-face with a woman in shimmering white robes, who carried a gun.

She whirled to face him. In a flash they both had guns on each other. "Who are you?" she asked.

They stood there, glaring at each other, with guns in each others heads. She searched his eyes, and sheathed (?) her gun. _ "Mr. Anderson, isn't it?"_

Neo shook his head. He had heard her voice in his head. "Neo," he said, narrowing his eyes.

She looked at him again, and spoke again, but he heard nothing of what she said. _ "Hello, Neo. The Matrix has you," _he heard in his head. _ "Become who you were born to be. You know of what I speak, _Neo_ . Face the truth." _

All of this was said in his mind.

"Why are you here, Neo?" she asked. "You know what you must do. Something has changed, you felt it. You must find the way to change what has happened."

Suddenly two wraith-like creatures fell out of the sky.

The first one spoke: "Well, I'm back!"

"I thought I was dead," said the other one.

"We were," replied the first one.

Suddenly a booming voice came from above: "The moonlight will show you for what you truly are."

The first one fainted.

"Numskull," said the other one.

Neo raised his eyebrows.

"I did not foresee this," said the white lady: Galadriel.

"You can foresee things?"

"Yes. Some that were... some that are... and some things that have not yet come to pass."

"You'd get along with the Oracle."

Galadriel shot the two arguing twins, and they died again. The author of the story plus all the fans of the twins hit their heads on medal poles that appeared out of nowhere.

Galadriel and Neo walk off, arm-in-arm, talking.

And then they fall off a bridge.

"Go jump in a lake," said twin one, who miraculously came back to life to twin two.

A lake appears out of nowhere, and twin two falls in it

"Aaaaaassssssss yyyyyooooouuuuuuu wwwwiiiiiiisssshhhhhhhhh..." can be heard as he falls into the unknown depths of the random lake.

Then the _ Death Star_ appeared, and shot twin one.

"Ouch," said twin one, and died again.

Then they both came back to life.

"What's going on?!" asked Elrond. The Matrix had taken control of itself, and things weren't working as they should've.

"I don't know. This can't be right," said Agent Smith, trying to get control over the runaway program.

Green lines ran across the screen randomly, faster and faster--

And the computer exploded.

"This was not inevitable," said Agent Smith.

Arwen held up a strange gadget. "This should do it." She had entered the Matrix willingly, and knew what she was trying to do. "So much for Matrix control, Ada. I wonder how he'll take this."

She had disabled the Middle-earth connection to the Matrix, and set it so they wouldn't have control over it. Little did she know that she had just disabled all control over the program, whether human, elf, or machine. "I'm sorry, Ada, but I couldn't let you get away with this," she said, and left the control rooms for the time, though she stayed in the area.

She had control of the command station now, and had the power to take over the world, but she chose not to. _ All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us_.

"I'm sorry, Ada," she said one last time.

"Welcome to the Matrix, Legolas Greenleaf," said the first agent.

"Who are you?" asked Legolas, reaching for his bow.

"We are Agent Smith," the first one answered. "As will you soon be too."

"What do you mean?" Legolas was cautious. "You are evil, I feel it. Some new deviltry of the enemy. But yet, you appear as Lord Elrond. What trickery is this?"

"It is no trickery, Legolas, elf of Mirkwood. Soon you will see. Soon you will be as one of us."

"You cannot do that. It is impossible."

"Not impossible, Legolas Greenleaf," said the agent, laughing, "inevitable."

The agent thrust his hand forward, and Legolas felt himself changing. It was like dying. He reached out, to find a solid spot to stand, but could not find one.

"You see, Legolas Greenleaf, there is no other possibility," said the agent. Distantly, it sounded, but yet as loud in his ears as if he had spoken himself. He struggled against the change; refusing to allow himself to fall into darkness.

"It is inevitable, Mr. Greenleaf," said the agent.

It was as if his mind had been separated from his body. He was there, and yet not. On a final gamble, he forced himself to speak, and maybe escape. "Not inevitable," he said, forcing the words out. "Impossible."

Legolas pulled back, away from the agents, and found himself falling, falling though the Matrix. Green lines were everywhere, he couldn't breathe.

And then he was out, on solid ground again. He sat down, and breathed heavily. "There's always another choice," he said, gasping for breath. "And that's not always an evil one."

Aragorn faced into the darkness with his sword drawn. "Who's there?" he asked.

"Strider, is that you?" asked a small voice behind him.

Aragorn turned around, to see Sam standing behind him. "Sam?"

"Aragorn?"

"I thought... I had hoped that you had not had to come as well," said Aragorn. "Sam, where are the others? Are they here as well?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. Where are we?"

"I really don't know," answered Aragorn, sheathing his sword. "I fear the worst. None know what lurks in the shadows."

Something landed on Sam.

"Ouch," cried Sam, slightly muffled.

"What the...?" said Aragorn.

"Oof," said Merry.

"Merry?!"

"Sam?!"

Aragorn smiled, and helped the two hobbits up. "Isn't this a surprise?"

"That man up there was lookin' for somethin', or someone," said Merry. "He knew who I was, Strider. And he looked like Elrond."

"Lord Elrond," Aragorn corrected mildly. "What did he say?"

"He wanted Mr. Anderson," Merry answered.

"So why'd you fall on my head?" asked Sam.

"I jumped off the building," answered Merry.

Aragorn quirked his eyebrows.

A medal pole fell down, and knocked Aragorn on the head.

"Ouch," said Aragorn, picking up the pole, and looking at it closely.

"Don't tell me that a Ranger can read the pole," said Sam.

"No," answered Aragorn. "But there are strange markings on it... as if one was using it as a weapon."

Merry and Sam shrugged. "No clue," said Sam.

"I didn't stick it in the ground," said Merry.

Aragorn smiled, but held onto the pole.

A blond-haired elf fell from the sky.

"Glorfindel?!" exclaimed Aragorn, staring at the elf.

"Lord Aragorn," said the elf. "He's gone mad."

Boromir woke up to the smell of cookies. He sat up. "Where am I?" he asked.

"You're in the Matrix," answered a person that he couldn't see. "Want a cookie?"

Boromir looked around for the offerer of the cookie. She was a grandmother type character, holding a plate of fresh backed cookies. "No," he answered.

"That's all right." She put the down. "And don't worry about the vase."

Boromir was suddenly confused. "What vase?" He turned around, looking for a vase, and accidentally knocked it over. "Oh, my goodness," he exclaimed. "I'm so sorry!"

She waved it off. "I said don't worry about it."

Boromir raised one finger. "How did you know...? You could never've known that I was going to knock that down unless you could see the future."

"But one wonders: Would you have knocked it down if I hadn't said anything?"

Boromir looked even more confused.

"You're sure you don't want a cookie?" she asked.

"Sure," he said, taking a cookie, and wondering about her.

She smiled as Boromir ate the cookie. "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given you."

To be continued...

Review replies:

Ieva: As you see, they're not dead yet. I never intended to kill the twins, though why you like them is beyond me. I'm glad you liked it. Why on Earth do you like the twins?!?! They are evil!!!

Lupe: I like randomness... sometimes. Mighty Wok pan of DOOM? Well, I have the lightsaber of doom. So there! Why do you like the twins? The random medal pole is actually an inside joke... so is the random Stormtrooper. Read the Candies of Doom by Elf with a Lightsaber for explanation Chapter four.


	4. Middle earth enters the Matrix

** Welcome to the Matrix**: the sage continues

Disclaimer: The point of this is to tell you I don't own it, but also to warn you of other movies and books that might appear... So allow me to add Star Wars and the Silmarillion to the list... you will understand in the next chapter...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pippin jumped out of the way just before he was ran over by a strange contraption.

Someone hocked their horn at him. "GET OFF THE ROAD, YOU MIDGET!!!!!!"

Pippin jumped off the road... "He stole Frodo's line," said Pippin, miffed.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him from behind, and clamped they're hand over his month. "MmmpHHH!"

"Hush."

"RrrrMMMENN?!" exclaimed Pippin, the best he could, being that his mouth was being clamped shut by a female elf.

Arwen sighed. "Hush, Pippin. You must come with me."

She pulled him off the road, and into the shadows of the alley. "Come." She beckoned. "You must come with me now, you are not safe here."

Something in her eyes clicked with Pippin. "You're not Arwen."

She flipped out a gun from her pocket. "That doesn't matter now, young hobbit. You're coming with me."

"Great," said Pippin, as he fell in along with her step. "So, where are we goin'?!"

She sighed dramatically, and rolled her eyes. "This is going to be a long journey."

Aragorn attempted to calm down the panicked elf. "Slow down, Glorfindel. Who's gone mad? What's going on?"

Glorfindel continued fluttering his hands anxiously. "Lord Elrond. He's teamed up with some person who looks like his clone, and they're plotting to take over Middle-earth, and what they called the Matrix." Except it came out as: "Lordelrondsteamedupwithsomeonewholookslikehiscloneandtheyrplottingtotakeovermiddleearthandwhattheycalledthematrix." And all the while the flustered elf was waving his hands around, trying to get his bearing straight.

Aragorn breathed out slowly. "Slower, Glorfindel. I cannot understand you when you speak at that speed. Now, who has gone mad? One question at a time here."

"Lord Elrond." Glorfindel still looked rather flustered, but was able to talk slower this time, now that he was more oriented.

Aragorn breathed out sharply. "Why do you say this?"

"He's plotting to take over the world!"

Aragorn rolled his eyes, and flipped around the _ medal_ pole. "I'm sure you've just misunderstood Lord Elrond, Glorfindel. What's going on?"

"He has a clone, and they have this odd setup, and want to do in all the men and elves, and hobbits, dwarves, and whatnot!" Glorfindel continued to talk in one breath sentences, causing for slight misunderstanding from Aragorn.

Aragorn pursed his lips. "Where is Arwen?"

Glorfildel stopped, shocked. "Why do you ask of her? She disappeared, Lord Aragorn. She fell itno green lines, and was lost..."

"Okay, okay." Aragorn waved his hands around. "I'm sure there is some logical explanation for all this."

Sam kicked in. "There were green lines when I disappeared too."

Merry nodded. "Same here."

Aragorn shook his head. "There must be some reason. It's some trick of the enemy, or whatnot."

Sam and Merry looked at each other. "Where were you when _ you_ disappeared, Strider? What happened then?" asked Merry.

Aragorn thought back. "I was in Rivendell, bidding farewell to Arwen. There were green lines... and then... and then..." He stopped, suddenly deep in thought.

"And then what?" asked Sam.

Aragorn pulled back in shock. "And then I heard Elrond's voice. By the Valar, Glorfindel, you're right! Middle-earth could be doomed if we can't do anything..." He looked at the two hobbits, and stunned elf. "What?"

Glorfindel looked at him, eyes wide. "You were in Rivendell?!"

"Yes."

"The Fellowship had left weeks ago, Aragorn," replied Glorfindel softly. "You weren't in Imladris, it's impossible."

Sam looked at Merry, who was also quite stunned. "I was in Fangorn with Pippin," said Merry softly.

"And we were in Ithilien," answered Sam.

Aragorn reeled backwards, in a state of shock. He shook his head. "Impossible."

A voice spoke in the air, through their mind it seemed. _ Not impossible. Inevitable._

Glorfindel stared at Aragorn. "I think this just got a whole lot worse."

Agent Smith swore. "D..."

Suddenly, little Anakin Skywalker appeared in a puff of very orange smoke, with a sound effect that sounded very much like 152763 people saying kavaam. "NO! NO!" he screamed, waving around his 152763 garlic plants. "THIS IS A PG FIC! YOU CANNOT SWEAR!!!!!!"

Elrond edged back nervously. "Is that who you were talking about when you said that men stink?"

Ani pouted. "I like my garlic, although General Jedi Master Jandalf didn't."

"Actually, yes," replied Agent Smith, pulling out Elf with a Lightsaber's (Tiana, the green haired, and dark Jedi Padawan from the Yoda Clones story Paint Wars: the Garlic Menace) medal pole. (And because she is helping me write the story, it's allowed to appear. You think that I'D write this humorous?!)

Anakin edged back nervously. "Um... not that..."

Tiana appeared, swinging around her stolen bottle of shaving cream from Mace Windu wildly. (Do not confuse her with my Tiana... wait, do. I don't have a Tiana yet...)

Elrond and Agent Smith looked at each other.

A vioce boomed from above: "_ Padawan, you must not terrorize characters in other people's stories!!!!!_"

Tiana pouted, sprayed Ani, and disappeared in a loud kavaam.

"That was odd."

"And random," added Elrond. "Men. They're so odd."

Suddenly... (Hmm... new word...) the twins fell from above, and Agent Smith and Elrond vanished in a spray of green lines...

A swirling vortex began to cover all of Middle-earth, from Mordor, to the Gray Havens, to Gondor, and the Shire... and everything seemed to stop.

Middle-earth has entered the Matrix, and beyond.

Everything was sucked up, as if entering a black hole. Homes collapsed, and animals fled in terror. Green lines covered everything, everywhere, and every_ when_.

From the First Age, to the Third Age, Middle-earth was sucked into the Matrix, and all turned to silver glass.

Shadows crept into the world, and a darkness like that of the First Age, when Morgoth stole the light crept in.

A fine mist covered Middle-earth; the seas rose up to meet the heavens.

Darkness tore apart the lands which were uninhabited, for all people of Middle-earth were now in the Matrix. The lands were rendered uninhabitable, as the shadow covered it.

And somewhere, in the darkness of an unpenetrable void, in a darkness far beyond that of any nightfall, a dark spirit smiled. Everything was going according to plan, and Middle-earth would be his again. And this time, there would be nothing the Valar could do to stop him.

Review comments:

Selina Enriquez: Umm... was that a flame, or an 'I liked the story'? I know that Elrond rocks, and all, but you didn't have to say it over and over. Elrond will live, I promise you that much though... even though the evil Elrond is how my bf sees him... I like Elrond too! I hope you liked the story...

funkless: Sadly, the story won't stay too funny. It has a serious air to it, and that will take over, I hope. Unless my CoAuthor decides that the story must stay randomly insane, that is (Elf with a lightsaber). I'm glad you liked the humor though... I'm just not too good at writing it. I did like the taking over the world thing, but sadly, it's only leading up to something worse...

Lupe: Well, if you do read it, review it too. I lied, it's in chapter seven, I tihnk. I read all of elf's stuff before she posts it... so yeah. And the twins still aren't dead. I'm not killing them off that easily... and that's medal pole. It appears in a Yoda Clones story too (Paint Wars: the Garlic Menace, I think) (If you like dumb Star Wars parodies...) I'm glad you liked it.

Glorfindel is Hot: How do you know that? You haven't seen Glorfindel. And it's a medal pole, trust me here. It's not a metal pole, or I'd've spelt it that way. Thank you for the comment though, elf and I have had many comments on our purposeful misspelling of it. We wanted a medal pole, not a metal pole. So that's what we get. I'm glad that you liked it though.

Celebrian: I KNOW that Glorfindel saved Frodo, but this was originally movie based. Besides, I needed Glorfindel elsewhere. I do like Arwen (And I have read all the books, and first too.) Please do keep reading. But it you must have perfectly Tolkien based, read on a site like Barrowdowns.com

Mrs. Faramir: Actually, it does matter. This story is taking a First Age turn, as you will see later on... I intend on keeping writing... I'll tell everyone who reviewed me when I'm published (lol, grin). I hope you liked it.

Ieva: I have nothing wrong with you liking the twins. They are cool in their own way. And they still aren't dead... Hmmm... what were the names they had? I need new names for them!!!!!

I'm glad you liked it.

(A/N: To those who are reading, I suggest that you gain some slight understanding of Morgoth, the First Age, and the Valar, though you don't have to. Just a recommendation.) 


	5. In Which Things Finally Get Explained

A/N/: Pleads Please stop flaming me! This story is AU! Can't you understand that?! Plus it will all work out in the end, I promise you that! 

Ieva: Ah. Okay. Well, I don't WANT this to stay randomly insane. kills sister author I suppose I'll stick to One and Two, then. 

Yami Loki: I emailed you about your critic of my story ages ago. Sorry, I told you I'd update soon... seemingly I didn't. Hopefully this chapter will clear up some of your anger... there IS explanations! I still take it as an insult that you thought I might've been high, though... plus I corrected this chapter to read 'holstered', and not sheathed. 

Darth Warious: Maybe another story... not this one, I don't think. 

Calliop-elven-agent: Heh. Glad SOMEONE liked it. Not really that unique though. Sigh. Not ANOTHER lover of the Twins! 

Apalled: It's AU! Sigh... 

Electya111: Glad that there are a few people who think it's cool still. 

Cabbywolf: Great! Another lover! Sigh... I know, the Matix is one my fav trilogies too, along with Star Wars, LotR, and Back to the Future... heh. 

Now, ON TO THE STORY THAT YOU ALL MIGHT'VE ACTUALLY BEEN WAITING FOR BUT WHO CARES, I'M STILL UPDATING IT! 

"What is _that?!_" asked the flustered Neo, pointing at the _Death Star_. 

Galadriel blinked, and shook her head. "I have no clue. All I know is that something very strange is going on here." 

"Well, that's obvious," answered Neo. 

The two stared at the strange metal object hovering in the air... well, sky, anyhow. It was obviously impossible for the _Death Star_ to have shot Twin One, and for him to have survived, for that matter, for the planet to have not been destroyed. But something about the Matrix defeated it's purpose, beyond injuring Twin One, and everything remained intact. 

"This is... peculiar," said Galadriel, staring at everything that had just happened. She _holstered_ her gun, and fingered her ring. "Somehow, I get the feeling that this isn't normal happening around here." 

"No," answered Neo. "It's not." 

The Matrix had taken control of itself. 

Human replica droids. They had been created by the Empire long ago, in that galaxy far, far away. But they were not rightfully called _human_ replica droids, when they could be fashioned to replicate a Wookiee, for example. Or an elf. 

These droids could be programed to respond to a remote control system, that their movements could be controlled by an operator a planet away. Or a galaxy. They could also be programmed with this remote operator, but still act human, and have actions of it's own. 

The Matrix had control over itself. Middle-earth was in panic, as it's worlds were dumped into the Matrix. A strange power was at work now, and more powerful than fate. But not even a computer program could get like this on it's own, and that was in truth, the fact that was happening. There were others, more darker and powerful than the Matrix, and now, their powers were about to show. Their names were Morgoth, and Palpatine. (coughAUcough) 

These random, and very cliché evil people had their own random goals to take over places such as Middle-earth, and the entire galaxy, which appear in their respective stories, of course. Of which I am not going to go into detail because I'm getting tired of all the flames. Okay, now back on topic... 

Okay. Palpatine, being a very rich, and evil Emperor had fashioned a replica droid for the mere sake of impersonating a few very random characters which have a lot to do with this story. When he joined with the rather undead Morgoth, who had escaped from a prison made by the Valar, they made their goal to, of course, take over the world, even if it was a rather cheesy goal at that. Logically, the choice would be to take over the Matrix, from which all the other worlds could be connected by a series of computers. To achieve this, the logical choice was to send in a droid. 

But the droids they choose happened to have minds of their own... 

In a palace on Coruscant, there are four characters, who have been mentioned before, and should be fairly familiar. One being Emperor Palpatine himself, and the Dark Lord Morgoth. The other two though, are newer to this part of the tale, one being the Sith Lord Darth Vader, and the other being an agent. Darth Vader stood in the corner, breathing quite loudly, while the Emperor was yelling at the agent, a strange thing, as Vader was more likely to do all the shouting. 

"You let the droid escape with the halflings?!" Palpatine screamed. 

The agent stood there, uncaring to about the fact that the Emperor looked ready to kill him. "There was only one halfling," he pointed out, "and the job was done, nevertheless." 

"But improperly! Your Matrix now has taken control of itself, and there is a replica droid on the loose within it, who just _happens_ to look incredibly alike to an elven princess, who _also_ happens to be on the loose in the Matrix. My Death Star disappeared, along with all it's crews, and YOU ARE GOING TO BE CALM ABOUT IT?!" 

Agent Johnson kept his face straight, as he answered, "Yes. There is little need to scream. Screaming will not get your super weapon back in this galaxy, nor will it bring your droids back, or destroy the clones that you _insisted_ we use in the Matrix, in order to confuse many people. Nor will it change the fact that the Fellowship of the Ring is now randomly strewn about within the Matrix, from different times during their lives." 

The dark, shadowy figure of Morgoth spoke, with a hiss to his voice. "I care little about the halflings, or super weapons. My goal is to capture this.. Ring... that my servant had created after my life." 

One would almost say the Darth Vader seemed nervous in his lack of speaking, being as he stood there, only breathing with his artificial sounding breath. Finally, after a long silence, when the Dark Lords were thinking of their plans, he spoke. "You do realize, my master, that we are in the Matrix now." 

"Yes." The Emperor answered the question sharply. "That was the goal." 

"Then," the agent said, "the goal was achieved, just not in the manner that you wished it." 

A heavy silence filled the room. "No. The goal is not achieved. Not until I have control of the Matrix will it be achieved." 

"The Ring will enable us to do so," Morgoth hissed. 

"Then it is decided," Agent Johnson said, before anyone else could contradict that. "We will go after the Ring of Power." 

In a back alley in the Matrix, two very confused hobbits, a human, and an elf sat, wondering about everything that had just happened. The both of them were now, at best, very confused. How could they be pulled in from different times of their lives, and from different places and such. 

Not that this was the only concern, as they were all quite worried about what would happen if they couldn't find the others soon-- it seemed the Matrix was working against them. But they knew that there were other members of the Fellowship there... they just had not yet found them. Glorfindel, of them all, was the most confused, being as he had no clue what Aragorn and Sam were talking about, by Arwen saving Frodo. 

"But... I was the one to save Frodo," the poor, bewildered elf said. "How could've the Lady Arwen saved him? She does not leave Imladris... not when she doesn't have to." 

Aragorn, in turn was very confused at the elf's words on Asfaloth being his, and not Arwen's. It seemed the two were a world apart, with the movies and books being different things all together. 

Poor Merry, of course, was lost in all this, along with Sam, as the conversation went on. There was one thing, of course, that they all agreed on. And that was that they had a very bad feeling about this. 

"The Lord Elrond _cannot_ be evil!" Aragorn argued. 

"Well, if it's not Lord Elrond, then someone is impersonating him!" Glorfindel shot back. "I was there, I should know! He... and that _clone_ or whatever!" 

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explaination for this all." The human tried to sooth Glorfindel, and calm down the elf, who was growing more hysterical by the moment. 

"Explanation? He's gone _mad_, that's what!" 

"And what about Mr. Frodo?" Sam planted his hands on his waist. "Is he 'ere too? And Pippin Took, and all the others?" 

Aragorn looked down. He had quite forgotten about the hobbits. "I have no clue, Sam, Merry. All I know is that I will get to the bottom of this." 

"You'd better," huffed Glorfindel. "He's gone mad, I tell you!" 

Merry nodded. "He's lookin' for somethin', or someone. That has to be it." 

"Of course!" Aragorn snapped his fingers. "I know where to go!" 

"What?!" Merry exclaimed, along with Glorfindel, and Sam at the same time. 

"No time to explain, just follow me!" 

They ran off, down the alley, following Aragorn, who was now beginning to understand what was going on here... 

IT'S AU, remember that! 

I hate this new QuickEdit thing... sigh... 


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